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There was a time in the not too distant past when people had brains. It was a magical time. People would read something sarcastic and understand that the author wasn't seriously suggesting that it would be a good idea to feed baby leprechauns to the dragons. There weren't entire orginizations dedicated to defending the mythical human rights of leprechauns or dragon defense leagues pointing out that today's dragons are vegan and do not appreciate the outdated stereotyping of their eating habits.


Announcer: Welcome back to SCTV, the network that broadcasts all the latest happenings on our hero the Spanish Conquistador. We had a slight glitch in the broadcasting over the last year, but we are proud to be back! It turns out that in a recent poll more people preferred the color bars to our network so we simply gave the people what they wanted, but there recently was a change in those poll results. We demanded a recount and found out the numbers were in fact exactly correct, but 23 percent of people stated the bars didn’t necessarily have to be in color.

An Origin of The Spanish Conquistador

Stories of “The Spanish Conquistador” had been folklore throughout Europe for centuries before Ian came across them in his later life. The time was 1929, the depression was already leaving Ian broken and beaten. He had recently lost his Irish Setter to cancer and his own depression rivaled that in which the country was suffering. Down on his luck, he took a job at a Manhattan radio station known as WQBR, back in its time.

For Her

Everybody wants it so it's impossible to find

You can have it if you're there in time

The cost can be so high if you miss the chance

You need to get in now while you can

The crowds swirl as the doors open

There's blood on the ground in the yellow lamp light 

Knocked aside like a used party favor

You remember years past and the gifts that you gave

The journey through your cash to your return

The half smile of a young little girl

Told you everything in the world

In your mind there was a glimmer