This Article is Totally 100% Real!!! Share Before it's Too Late!!!

There was a time in the not too distant past when people had brains. It was a magical time. People would read something sarcastic and understand that the author wasn't seriously suggesting that it would be a good idea to feed baby leprechauns to the dragons. There weren't entire orginizations dedicated to defending the mythical human rights of leprechauns or dragon defense leagues pointing out that today's dragons are vegan and do not appreciate the outdated stereotyping of their eating habits. Unwoke authors could write such things to an audience that could look out at the world and see that there were no leprechauns or dragons and get a laugh about the idea before moving on. 

Today, however, is a time when this article is being written and this author is taking nothing for granted. My message is clear. I am blatently telling you without any irony that this satrical article is completely 100% real.

You will not be ridiculed for criticizing this one and taking alarm. You have found the one true article on the internet that is actually a challenge to your way of life. Gone are the days of sharing conspiracies about Mr. Rogers and friends responding with Snopes articles making you look foolish. You have trained your whole life for this moment. 

Today, those leprechauns are truly in peril. Today, those dragons are coming for them and us all and sharing this warning is the only way to stop the impeding doom of tomorrow. How will you respond? Will you go to the ends of the chair to click the keys of a keyboard sacrificing your valuable 10 seconds to save the world to be honored for generations to come as the one true savior or will that future never come to be instead replaced with darkness and only cherry-flavored toothpastes?

The decision is yours to make. Share this article, dear reader, before its desires creep into the real world. Only you can stop this. 

You may thinking "But I've been scammed so many times before and sacrificed so much. I just can't risk it all again. The cost is too high." Risk it you must, Citizen. Oh yes, risk it you must before we all fall to those leprechauns or dragons or whatever.