Buying More Sega Genesis Games and Other Ways to Become More Attractive to Women
It is long established women love grown men with a lot of Sega Genesis games. But how many is enough? 18? 34? 106? Scientists have recently discovered the level of attraction an average woman has for a man is directly proportional to the number of Sega Genesis games he owns. In fact the opposite is also true, but the effect is 6.7 times stronger for women. The procurement of Sega Genesis games increases the sexual attraction of all people. Even men with man buns, but that data is within the margin of error.
Referring to the number of Sega Genesis games a person owns (the Genesis coefficient) and their general level of attractiveness (their Holy Jiveness), we see a steady incline of both increasing as we move to the right of the chart. You can read more about the Genesis-Jiveness Slope at your local library or internet-connected Cappacino Hut.
But what else has seen similar test results in laboratory conditions? We wanted to determine how this discovery ranks in terms of other seemingly self-evident conceits recently verified by extensive laboratory testing and have compiled this list for you.
1) Men who look like Burt from Sesame Street have better first dates than men that look like Ernie.
This is of course because women that date men who look like Burt have lower expectations. We suggest losing some hair or making your head pointier to really communicate to women that their standards have been too high and it's time to give you a try. Tell her how to really get to Sesame Street.
2) Last year, tattoos were really desirable on a person. This year it's varicose veins.
Make it look like you've aged your body like a fine wine with some nice cheddar and you'll have the women eating you up when they see you at the bowling alley this January. To enhance your arms, hemotology equipment is recommended to really make those veins pop. You'll be the draw of the party. Have her pick a line and go for it.
3) VHS tapes that are half watched are really popular right now.
It adds a sense of mystery to a person to have a sizable number of half watched VHS tapes. Two equal circular spools of tape on either side of hard plastic really gets the women in the mood. Why didn't he finish the movie or rewind it? Maybe with all that extra time he has, he can take me out. These will be just some of the enticements running through her head as she meets you on public transportation holding a briefcase of copies of Weekend at Bernies and Stripes. Don't forget to also include things you taped of television in 1993 to show you are a go-getter as well. You won't be needing to fast forward through the commercials as she's showing you how attracted she is.
And of course, the returning one from last year. We don't expect this one to change any time soon...
4) Speedos are very in this year.
For obvious reasons, the more revealing the better and if you can show off when she is with her family, that ranked highest on the list of things she enjoys.
Follow this advice and women will finally start to speak to you outside of court.