advice

Going Away to College

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Dear Professor Gludlum,

I’m about to go to college–quite a shock for me, as you can imagine.  I’m finding myself very, vastly, frighteningly, incredibly unprepared for this life-changing experience.  Can you perhaps give me some advice on how to prep myself?  (It is especially difficult for me to decide what to pack.)

Sincerely yours,
Me
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Dear Me,

Secret Identity

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My question: why do superheroes seek another identity to fight evil? Does this mean that maintaining an identity of constant prey is needed or required?
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Dear Anonymous Reader,

Superheroes, huh? I have always been against that word. Why is it the one putting in the time scheming to hurt those around him always the bad guy? Don’t I deserve to be called a hero? Without me, the local fire department would be completely useless. Do I ever get a thank you? No.

Fellowship

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dear professor glutton,

im starting a fellowship under my wife and am wondering how you would handle the situation. im more then a little nervous about there being friction.

sincerly,
sam welmington
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Dear Sam,

Classic Cars

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Professor Gludlum,

I fear I am becoming too negative as of late. In my hometown, they have this classic car event and they all gather on the streets and ride back and forward. I work nearby and must get through to make it in time to my job. It continually makes me late and I am getting quite upset with the whole situation. How can I cope with my growing hatred of classic cars?

Please Help!
Jene
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Dear Faithful Reader,

Cheating Student

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Dear Prof.,

I have a midterm coming up and I have a slight problem…I won’t pass. The reason, I‘ve cheated on the last few exams and the person I’ve cheated off of has dropped the class. What do I do?

Failure Student
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Dear Pup. (as in pupil but I shortened it…like you did with prof… ah forget it it… no one gets me…),

Aspiring Super Villain

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Dr. G,
What advice do you have for an aspiring super villain?
Pat Sycamore
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Dear Mr. (or Mrs. or Ms. if you are one of those old unmarried women) Sycamore,

First off, calling me Dr. G makes me sound like I, too am straight outta – insert hometown here. It’s Professor Gludlum or if I know you really, really well, you may even survive calling me Beezlebub. Old college nickname. Long story. If I don’t know you very well, your odds do not look good. Go ahead. Pull the lever.