Announcer: Welcome back to SCTV, the network that broadcasts all the latest happenings on our hero the Spanish Conquistador. We had a slight glitch in the broadcasting over the last year, but we are proud to be back! It turns out that in a recent poll more people preferred the color bars to our network so we simply gave the people what they wanted, but there recently was a change in those poll results. We demanded a recount and found out the numbers were in fact exactly correct, but 23 percent of people stated the bars didn’t necessarily have to be in color.

An Origin of The Spanish Conquistador

Stories of “The Spanish Conquistador” had been folklore throughout Europe for centuries before Ian came across them in his later life. The time was 1929, the depression was already leaving Ian broken and beaten. He had recently lost his Irish Setter to cancer and his own depression rivaled that in which the country was suffering. Down on his luck, he took a job at a Manhattan radio station known as WQBR, back in its time.

For Her

Everybody wants it so it's impossible to find

You can have it if you're there in time

The cost can be so high if you miss the chance

You need to get in now while you can

The crowds swirl as the doors open

There's blood on the ground in the yellow lamp light 

Knocked aside like a used party favor

You remember years past and the gifts that you gave

The journey through your cash to your return

The half smile of a young little girl

Told you everything in the world

In your mind there was a glimmer

Going Away to College

Dear Professor Gludlum,

I’m about to go to college–quite a shock for me, as you can imagine.  I’m finding myself very, vastly, frighteningly, incredibly unprepared for this life-changing experience.  Can you perhaps give me some advice on how to prep myself?  (It is especially difficult for me to decide what to pack.)

Sincerely yours,

Dear Me,


I have a gift that I must give
But the person it is intended for
Has gone away from here

They won’t be back
But it is wrapped
And locked away in a drawer

Tiny Grasshopper

I woke up this morning with a grasshopper on my face
Hoping around like he owned the place
I displaced him gently on my back porch
I wonder what happened to him after that
I’ll never know
Unless I wake up tomorrow with a friend of his
Thumping around on my forehead
Instead of killing him dead
I’ll pick him up and say to him
Do you know what happened to that tiny grasshopper yesterday
Not expecting a response from him I’ll listen carefully
For any sound
But there’s no sound because he’s a bug

Things Change

I don’t really know why you should stay

But I feel like maybe you should

I see you there as you walk away

You don’t know you misunderstood


Now let me say this loud and clear

There’s no one else anywhere

That can make me as proud

As I am in my love for her


She’s why I wake up everyday

And try my best

She’s why I turned my back on you

And everyone else

She’s always been right by my side

But deep inside, I can not hide

From the feelings that pulse from within

Work in Progress

Sometimes in my head

I think how beautiful it would be

To have a world that chose

To live so peacefully


To end all the wars

And dismantle poverty

To disengage slavery

And embrace our own liberties


But I think of the art

That’s come from all the pain

And all of the insight

That we have yet to learn


Sometimes in my head

I think how beautiful it is

To have a world that chose

To be a work in progress instead

We Ride

There are good men out there

On my best days I travel among them

I see the sights of valors

And the righting of injustice

The caves of eternity shall fall before them

Into the bleak, dark aspic

I cringe as I exit their gallows

Their journey extends onward

From their ancestors and to their progeny

I fall to my knees as I realize I exist between two Earths

The one I created and the one I’ll destroy

As I weep like a little boy in the dust

I look up at the kings that seem unaffected