Welcome to The Holy Jive


Day One

First day of school


I should be happy

But I want to go home

I want to run screaming

I hate this place

I hate these people

I am so small

It’s why I’m consumed

My hate is bigger than me

I ride the bus home

I sit in the back

I stare out the window

My hallow eyes

She sits in the back too

She is avoiding the smiles

It’s hard to smile back

When you want to die

I ignore her

She ignores me

We don’t notice each other

We’re perfect

Craig the Mouse

Craig the Mouse
You’re probably dead
You should have lived
But you died instead

You came around
And said hello
I always liked it
I hope you know

Little feet
Running on the ground
You were afraid
Of every sound

It wasn’t fun
Cleaning up your shit
But I kind miss it
Just a little bit

And you got into
All of my stuff
Then you’d run away
But not far enough

WIth all the nerve
That I observed
You were a friend
Until the end

Compelled to Speak

The world is only changed by those that are compelled to speak

When the crowds go your way, you may sit back and listen

There is no need to overuse your voice

But the masses part slowly and before you know,

Your silence has  lead the talkers to victory

There is no rule that those that are good win

Only those that don’t shut up climb the mountain

Your words break their footing as they near the summit

And you can watch them slip as they stumble

There is no rule that those that speak are good


They say the first line is the hardest

But this one wasn’t a walk in the park either

The third line’s can be a challenge

But the fourth is when it fails

You’re losing readers by the fifth

No one even reads the sixth

You might as well just skip this one

And move right on to the eight

No one ever ends their poem on line nine

Always Greener

Tonight I wrote the words

That I know will change the world

As the pen streaked the page

I prepared for all the change

But as I finished up my script

My enthusiasm slipped

I knew what I must do

For my apprehension to be soothed

I tore apart the paper

And disposed of all the staples

In my head the words are kept

And the letter remains unsent

It turns out I like the world for now

And I don’t want to tear it down

30 Second Poem

Give me thirty seconds

And I’ll give you back your time

What would you ever do with me

If you ever knew my kind


I’ll run around in circles

And fall down into the dirt

There’s nothing you can do

To ever stop the hurt


The skills it takes to make

A thirty second poem

Are the kind of things it takes

To make a house into a home

"The Other Mangler"

“The Other Mangler”

By Ian

Narrator: It’s the Mangler! Created in a basement by his nemesis and Grand-pappy, Doctor Horatio, The Mangler has been endowed with the totally awesome superpower to see into the future and discover whether a person will grow up to be good or Jewish.  With this knowledge, he is able to eat babies before they can grow up to become the next Michael Bloomberg.

For Your Entertainment


We open on a ringing telephone. Much like some scary movie, although instead of being the harbinger of doom for the character who answers, this call will bring forth good repercussions. Sort of.




(from phone)





Who was the killer in Friday the 13th?


Mrs. Voorhees, Jason’s mom. Look I have the whole Scream box set on DVD, so don’t go trying to scare me with old material. Be original.



Interview with Ian

We recently caught up with media contributor Ian who lately is at the top of his game. You may know him as the creator and performer of the The Holy Jive production “The Spanish Conquistador.” For the first time, he opens up publicly about his show and his influences.